I want to be the same person regardless of who I am around. I need to stop filtering the person I show based on who you are. I want you to know me. I know this information will be hard for some of you to hear. I hope that we can talk about that.
Maybe some of you have assumed this but for a multitude of reasons, I wasn’t sure about it until recently. I identify as a lesbian. More specifically, a demisexual lesbian. I don’t really want to go into all the details online of why it has taken me this long to get to this realization, but if you want to ask me in person or over a phone call, I would be happy to talk about it. I am a member of the LGTBQ+ community and I am proud of that. It has been a rich and loving community to join. At first it felt like I had been drawn into this community because of my wife, but now I am so grateful to have already been a part of it as I have embarked on my own coming out journey.
This next part may be a bit more complicated to describe because honestly I am not quite sure where I am at. But regardless of my ability to articulate my beliefs, I want you to know that I am on a journey of spiritual discovery. Celebrating Easter last weekend with its focus on death, resurrection, and rebirth made this admission feel important and urgent. Maybe every day is a rebirth and a chance to live again. So, here I will share where I am today, and I am confident that tomorrow it will look a little different.
I am a follower of Jesus Christ and will continue to share the good news of unconditional love to everyone around me. I am a member of the universal Church as I embrace and love my humanity as well as yours. We are all connected on this journey.
I used to view God as an entity outside of myself at a higher level of consciousness, maybe a bit of a disembodied voice in the sky. Now, that has shifted to something more inside of myself and inside of all of us. I used to view the Bible as inerrant, a historical document to be taken literally. I can’t do that anymore. I don’t know if those things actually happened. But I do still find comfort and truth in many of its stories. The Bible is full of stories that touch on human struggles and joys that are just as much a part of our lives today as they were a part of the lives of people in the past. This line from V For Vendetta rings true for me as I think about my relationship with the Bible today: “Artists use lies to tell the truth. Yes, I created a lie. But because you believed it, you found something true about yourself.”
I still identify as a Christian but maybe that looks different for me than that identity does for you and that is ok with me. I am not sharing my thoughts to debate with you or convert you. I just want to be seen and known.
Jessica, You are a very loving. Kind soul full of energy and caring! Nothing you have shared changes you but hopefully gives you peace!
Now relax and continue embracing life, your family, all of us who’s hearts you have touched. And all those hearts you will
Continue to touch!!’
Thank you for reaching out. Sharing has given me peace. There was a part of me that was afraid to share who I am and where I am at for fear that people wouldn’t like me. But the hiding of part of myself hides hurt the relationships that matter the most. I hope others can feel safe to be themselves too.
Dear Jessica, Thank you for sharing. I cannot imagine how this “self discovery “ has been confusing, but in the end release. I can tell you that as confusing as it has been for me, our pastor, whose daughter is gay, has been preaching on the scripture where we are to love one another as I (Jesus) have loved you. After one month it is finally thru my head that our job is to simply love. Not to judge , or to shame because it doesn’t fit into our norm. Just to love. Both Carl and I love both you and Lily. I don’t fully understand but I don’t need to. Lily has been wonderful at explaining things to me. Although it is still somewhat foggy at times it is becoming clearer. May God bless you richly and know you both are loved tremendously.
Thank you, Aunt Maria.