If you are not enough without it, you will never be enough with it.

I have started this blog post a half a dozen times and I never seem to get anywhere. I want to say everything but I don’t know where to start. My wise wife suggested I start with how I feel right now…

So…in this moment, I am looking at the tattoo I got on my forearm a few weeks ago. It makes me feel safe, and whole, and excited for my future.

The past year and a half has been about transitions, change, growth, and self-discovery. A common theme has come up for me over and over in my self help books, my book/bible study group, the podcasts I listen to, and parenting discussion groups I am a part of. This theme is the inherent goodness and worthiness of every human being. It is something that cannot be earned or gained but also cannot be lost. A concept I now describe as “enoughness”.

Last week, I was listening to The Listurgist Podcast and Hillary McBride said it beautifully:

Here are some things that are true:

You are good.

You have always been good, right from the beginning.

And I’m sorry if anyone told you otherwise.

This breath. These hands. Those feet. That smile. Those ears. That heart.

This heart. This beating heart.

This breath. This breath. This breath.

It’s good. It’s all good. So, so so good.

You are loved. You are so loved. You are loveable.

You have been working so hard and I don’t have to know how to know that it’s true.

You are precious. You are not a mistake. You are very on purpose.

You are not broken. You never were. I am sorry that you might have thought that. I’m sorry that anyone made you think that. That wasn’t about you.

But you, you are enough. You are totally enough.

You don’t have to earn your enoughness. You don’t have to grovel for value, for love, for goodness. You already have it. You already are it.

You are loved. You are loved. You…you are good, so, so good.

 

I can see hope each and every day that I am unlearning the lies my ego has been telling me for all these years about my enoughness. Every time I forget something important, there is grace. Every time I sit down to play with my kids even if the house is in chaos, there is joy. Every time I spend an evening with my wife instead of washing dishes, there is love. Every time I give myself space to consider what I need in this moment instead of giving weight to all the “shoulds” running through my head, there is enoughness.

I hope that today, you believe that you are enough in this moment just as you are. Not after your have finished your todo list. Not after you lose 10 pounds. Not after your child achieves some accomplishment. Not after your marriage is finally perfect, but right now.

I’ll leave you with the words of Coach Blitzer in the movie Cool Runnings:

I had made winning my whole life. And when you make winning your whole life, you have to keep on winning, no matter what…A gold medal is a wonderful thing. But if you are not enough without it, you will never be enough with it.